9. Anger

9. Anger


in my dreams I wouldn’t slam on my brakes

I would ram right into that horrible driver

in front of me

and wouldn’t get hurt

and wouldn’t pay

and would get my revenge


of course, in real life

I just scream and slam

on my brakes

and feel like there’s

boiling water in my throat




it’s crazy how much anger can be

contained in a little body

in a bloodstream, a stomp

a fist that’s not strong enough to express

the feeling


getting passed on the interstate

when I’m going 10 over


when I know the darkest depths of a heart

but they smile with a deep facade

I want to throw up and then

tackle them to the ground


often I find myself

in a crowded room where the noise is too loud

to breathe

I feel like I’m shouting and no one

is listening to me

but I have valuable things to say

I have talent, and I have worth

I swear to you,

I do


when they misunderstand I can’t

find a way to

express how incredibly


it is

just love me,



anger is a feeling fueled by


it dwells in the drama

it basks in the movie-like run-through-the-rain




it’s just so UNFAIR

that a veteran who lost his legs

for me

is starving on the interstate exit

and so UNFAIR

that the man at the next exit

is lying about

his true state


it’s so messed up

that being all alone

makes me feel worthlessness

an unnecessary feeling that

could be avoided but

culture shoves it down my throat

with its Valentine’s Day pressure and its

lingerie sales and its

falsified love stories

and I’m sick


money makes me angry

that a piece of paper and some metal circles

can define a life

can cause stress enough to send me to

an asylum


anger is a thrill, too

I find it almost satisfying sometimes

screaming at someone I love

reminds me that I love them

in a roundabout way

they say that there’s a fine line between


and love

and it’s true because

to scream you have to care

and I do.


of course, we scream too much

enough is enough

I could blame it on my demons or

your absolute oblivion

the baggage on my back or

your smile that covers up our problems


but really, we will walk away because

anger was the little devil in our brains

that told us all the wrong things to say.


biting words we know will bite

things I’m sure Ryan Gosling screamed at

some point

it gives us a rush,

keeps life interesting

being in love is too perfect

that’s no fun

[this is my problem]


in the end, anger makes me say

things I’m sure I believe fundamentally

but it’s like disappearing ink

and it’s too late to apologize

forgive me

for the things I never meant to say