Falling Asleep

Sleeping is bliss

I rejoice in the end of day

stumbling through the door from

monotonous hours

of smiles and “how are you”s

“that'll be 7.89” reverberates in my ear drums


oh, when I can find my favorite folds

of my childhood raggedy blanket

these days the kids from the schoolyard

can't tease me.

They're consumed with

their skyscraper typewriter jobs

and whiskey.


My pillows are my alcohol

such a clean escape

strangely damp

my showered hair



and there in dreams I find the strangest things.


The sea that stole my lover far away.

He rides on water wings towards me

Like sunbeams his fingers caress my lips.


I hear laughter like wind chimes

and see red hair skipping towards me


my little sister who

left this world before she even came into it

but there she laughs and plays with

the blue bear I bought her

she never touched

it or the world

she would have

changed it and shaped it

I know

how unjust.


Then she, too, is gone

from the corner of my eye

by the time I turn back

I can only seem empty black

my eyelids.


Today I realized that maybe

dreams are


of heaven.


So God on high

man on the moon

fat peaceful man with nipples showing

anyone who is listening

I'd be just fine if my time here was done.

I'm not afraid.


'cause what could be so bad

about a place with no sun

no moon

but somehow light all around?


When I see Christmas lights I think of you.