the biting words, the apathy

I’m sorry for the selfishness

the biting words, the


I’m sorry for caring way too much

but not telling you the truth

about it

I’m sorry that you find yourself

in a tougher spot

than you wanted to be

I’m sorry that I don’t know

the right thing to do



turning over a new leaf

is hard in the dead of winter

trees are bare and I can’t

bear the unforgiving nature

of the snow, the branches, and

of her.


I’m trying.


I wonder if it

will come to a choice, and

if you will choose


you probably shouldn’t

I probably don’t

deserve it

but I wish you would.


All I can say now

is that I can’t go back

there aren’t time machines


of course, you know that

but do you know the

regret that packs my insides

like the suitcases I’ve already prepared

for the day I have to leave


maybe I write poetry to

deal with the fact

that I’ve destroyed my

prized possessions

which always live and breathe

how can you think that my expensive laptop

or scrapbooks

or any physical thing could be

more important than

you and me



I’m not sure

what else I have to say

besides that I’m sorry

for the selfishness,

the biting words, the


and I can’t bring myself to ask

scared of what the answer

will be

but I wish down

deep inside

that you would stay.