How to make an imaginary friend

I know how it goes

you get pushed a lot

when you fell off the monkey bars

at school

nobody helped you up

but you heard a “helpful” snicker


on Valentine’s day

you got one from your mom

but Brian T. got one from Emily

you find you relate most to Charlie Brown

you want to talk philosophy, and your crush

and your pet rock just doesn’t talk much

for some reason


well, I get it.


there are plenty of friends to be made

and the best part:

you get to pick out their names

it’s like having kids except

you don’t have to feed them

and they don’t stink.


you also get to choose their personality

and if they start to be mean to you

you can will them out of existence



you can wake them up when they’re napping

because you want to have a tea party

you can splash them with mud and

they won’t splash you back, probably


word of caution:

don’t talk to them

in public

or at the dinner table

these friends are best kept secret

it’s more fun that way

and I don’t want you

to get laughed at even more


they don’t know that you fell off

the monkey bars because

you were trying to help your imaginary friend


they can’t see the invisible

like the goodness of your heart

or how you cry yourself to sleep

because words sting a little

okay, a lot


how to make an imaginary friend:


think them up, and make them love you.

how to make a real life friend:

I’m not really sure.

I just know it’s not that simple

but that’s a poem for another time.


- mrp