the same

it isn’t the same

without you around.


I’ve seen my friends go

through similar hurt

but seeing and being

are two different things


I cover my windows with blankets


you took the curtains when

you packed up and went

but the light hurts my eyes


I spray my room

again and again

with the strongest scents I can find

but you linger there still


I purge my closets of

clothes that I wore

when I was with you

end up throwing away

all my favorite dresses and shoes


I give up tomatoes and ice cream

and bread

because those were your favorite foods


never felt this way before, but


finally I see what it means

to be breathing, not living

cliche though it sounds

it means what it means

I’d like to lie in bed forever,